SO

Remember how i blogged about getting another tattoo here and here? Well. I FINALLY decided to get it done. This is just a quicky post, simply cz i just cannot keep this to myself

So i walk in and decided to chuck the whole phoenix stint right out the window. I saw this amazing pic of a pegasus, and i fell in love with it cz i wanted something with wings, although the pink WAS more than slightly gay. and after debating about it for a while with Impett, i decided that i wanted the pegasus in black, with the mane & tail and what not on fire. And thats what i decided to go with.

The tat took about 2 hours, and was relatively painless. :/ yeah it did feel weird @ the very least but the last bits, right at the end,  when he was shading and stuff hurt quite a bit.

It’s almost healed now, and PS – though theres a big fat 12 K next to the pic, Bernie took a look at it & said, “For you noh baby. 5K.”

Here’s what it looks like now.

Sigh – so thats it. My Christmas Present to me.

Artist’s Comments : Raw egg series [1] -[The egg ''finished'' before it's partner]

sigh -im soooo tired – but here i sit, typing an back-spacing nonsense repeatedly.

I’ve been stretching myself a little over the top lately, with a job, a kid and an extra job (a great extra job) it’s late nights, and late nights mean not much sleep, and not much sleep – for me – means one thing. BITCH MODE. I dunno why, and there’s probably a scientific explanation as to why one becomes a grumpy old fart when one is deprived of that much beloved sleep, but i do find myself getting agitated for the slightest thing, even when I’m late, and for me that’s a first. i mean, i’m generally a laid back person, and i don’t easily get pissed off.  (yes, I save that for ’special people’.) I have these days where I just for the life of me cannot decide what to wear!!! Does that ever happen to you? I change in and out of about 10 outfits and by that time my tuk tuk has arrived and then in a panic I pick the WORST combination and go with it and then spend the rest of the day obsessing about the fact that i shouldn’t have worn brown and black, or that top which shows WAY too much cleavage, or those broken shoes I’ve been meaning to replace.

meh.

Speaking of broken shoes, DUDE – i slipped on a spiral staircase and twisted my ankle. life is just One Big Surprise,I tell ya.   (Although I was on the way to collect a pay packet of sorts, so it kinda nullified the negative energy.) anyway the point is : it hurtssss! i hope it gets better soon.

Also : I’m socially awkward. I dunno if that’s the term, but what the hell, that’s what I’m going with. I’ve always been a bit of a loner – im shy – and it’s weird because people don’t think that i am! it’s probably cz im loud and i laugh a lot, and i do talk to people but the truth is, I’m kinda terrified of meeting new people. I’m one of those people who take out their phone and twiddle with it for no reason just to avoid eye contact & awkward silences, and i mean how fucking weird is THAT? When I DO finally get talking I wind up talking a lot, really fast and making a dumb joke and laughing at it myself and hey presto! – we have a one-way convo, where the other person just stands there looking scared.

I need help.

But then again don’t we all.

ok this is it. im never watching a scary movie  ever again. EVER.

I try to avoid anything scary at all times but I watched paranormal activity today, & though i tried to act all brave cz the people around me were  on about how it’s not all that scary, i was constantly looking over my shoulder and into the shadows.

It doesn’t take much to freak me out, and to date i never sleep with the lights turned off and i have mini heart attacks when the power goes out at night and i’m alone. i hate having this feeling that somethings out there and what not. if you haven’t seen it yet i’m not gonna tell you about it – but it’s made to look like it could happen to you, therefore making it a little more real and a lot more scary.

I’m home now and im a freaked.

ok.

very freaked.

kinda.

and i don’t wanna fall asleep but im tired.

Is there anything i can do to get over this fear thing? :/ And don’t tell me to grow up and get a life cz lets be realistic. that shit is never gonna happen. Perhaps i need to stop taking Hollywood so seriously.

EDIT  :

ok so i did fall asleep – with difficulty, mind you – and there were no nightmares. Although i did dream about how two really close friends took topless pictures of me (have  to mention here that they were classic black n whites) on a whim and later uploaded them on facebook. O_O  what the fucket. it’s “nightmare” on an entirely different level. my tits did look perfect in the dream though, the perfect shape and bouncy big n just round enough to make you drool a wee bit… but that may be due to own obsession with them. my tits i mean. please ignore that.

off to try n sleep again.

Adieu.

I’ve had that header with the eccentric little aliens on them for a while now and I’ve been meaning to change it but what with life getting busy on me i never had the time to do it. and lo and behold! ‘the lost one’ goes ahead and does it for me!!! thanks for noticing how i love seeing bright colours on black! smexxy noh?

thanks babe

It’s almost christmas!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……….

I work with a bunch of shameless moochers.

Lately the guys at work have REALLY been pissing me off. I hate to borrow, so i always buy my own. And now that they know i generally have a pack they’re always borrowing off me. I dont mind sharing – in fact it’s a code i live by. but this is like – ‘oh why bother going to the shop? Black has cigarettes ne? Don’t you, Black?’ 

GRRRR.

And it’s not just that. The assholes boys dont bother bringing their own deoderant anymore. Why? ‘oh Black ALWAYS has Fa in handy – why dont we just use hers?’ *GRR x 50billion!#%@#&@!!!!*

I mean WHAT. the FUCK, right? I could never say no int he first place without feeling terrible that I might have been mean, but now i realize that im just being a people pleasing back boneless cup of wobbling jelly : too fucking weak to stand firm and tell them where the hell to get off. I mean seriously – you get paid at the end of the month. Buy your own goddamn deoderant!

I swear to God –  One of these days imma EX-PLOOODDDDE into a raging ball of fury!!!!!!! and boys : it AINT gonna be pretty.

*Death Stare*

Sach, I just couldnt resist the urge to post this!

You! 16 year old bugger! I’m you – only older.  I know it’s confusing but that state of mind isn’t really gonna change over the next couple of years so I shall not bother with that. It must be traumatic being you, noh? 16 and in a hormonal rush of teenage angst? *sigh* I remember those days, and darling, i don’t envy you.

Firstly – SCIENCE for A/Ls? WTF? I know you didn’t wanna upset your parents by swimming against their tide, but dont do it. Do arts literature business ANYTHING.  It’s not gonna do anything for you. Although following the science stream will give you ample time to draw huge cartoons on the blackboards.

Before you turn 17, watch out for  a tall fair goofball with floppy brown hair. He’s gonna make you feel oh-so-adventurous, and then break your heart and your body into a million pieces and you wont be able to fix it. yesh, really. Oh shut up, i know what im talking about. NO QUESTIONS. yes I’m stubborn, but so are you- especially with the parents. You know when you were little and they said that SOMEDAY you’d only have them to fall back on when things really got tough? Dont bad mouth and Roll your eyes, cz babe,  they’re gonna prove it to you when you fuck up pret-ty soon. No matter how bad things are with dad, he’s gonna take care of you. And then you’re gonna look like a royal jackass.

Ah, Career. your first job is gonna be awesome. It’s gonna  teach you a lot and your gonna have a ball learning on the go. But Life lesson #2. Work and Pleasure DO NOT MIX. (I say #2 because #1 is LEARN TO SAY NO.) And woman. Whatever you do – USE PROTECTION. It’s not really that hard to do.

2008 is gonna turn your life upside down, but you’re gonna make it through and make the right decisions. I know you think that life is never gonna look up for you, but it will. Your gonna make ALL the wrong choices before you learn your lessons, believe me. But you’re gonna be ok, because you have good people in your life. I’m gonna tell you now, you’re gonna have to work hard to get good, but you’re also gonna have Josh, whose gonna be you’re reality check. Who’s Josh? oh HONEY. You’ll find out. (Such a tease, noh? you should know.)

hm… Learn to be Street Smart, don’t trust people blindly, and don’t obsess about your insecurities. And always think positive cz thats gonna get you through the day.  Shut uppppp i am not preachingggg! Fine, I’m going. Say hi to the floppy haired fellow for me. I know you too well.

*hugs*

Unsilent & Tubelight? TAG. YOU’RE IT.and a BIG thank you to chavie for the tag.

…you’re gonna wind up being someones midlife crisis.

*WARNING – this post is not going to make sense to you.*  OOh. and beware of typos.

You may preoceed.

#1

its four in the bloody morning men and theres a RAT. in my ROOM.  well there was, anyway. I managed to death stare it out of my room, yes i am THAT powerful. who am i kidding. i picked josh up, screamed and ran, and then tip toed back to switch on the lights and the bugger was staring at me from the wooden panels above the window (i knwo they have a proper name but i have noooo idea what it is.0) fudge bucket. yesh so s actually stood at the doorway and yelled at it a few times. like “GO!” or… “SHOO, u BUGGER!”and finall it left the room.

#2

Aiyo! lots been going on men. Im not creative. time to start looking for alternatives or something to inspire me. I hate the work ive been doing and the thing is i know i can do work thats so much better, but im stuck, my brain is giving up on me. Lifes getting hard now, and my whole systems struggling to adapt to it, i’m getting all rebellious and indecisive and i hate it.

#3

someone recently said something to me which may actually have been obvious to the world at large and i had seriously not thought about it that way in ages. He said “relationships dont have to be about sex.  If you really love each other you should be able to not have sex and be ok with that.”  is it true? There was a time in my life when i idealized just the way he does, and i think thats one of the reasons i enjoy his company that much. he reminds me of the way i used to think before my life exploded in front of me. he’s great. he sings to me and BOY do i I love being sung to. I mean who doesn’t?

#4

i dont ever want to be tagged as a ‘mistake’ in someones life. I’m moving on now. I have to force myself. but Im moving on. Lifes too short. When did i have to start have to apologize for doing things that i love to do, that i WANT to do?

#5

complete blah post. this is not going to make sense. just typing out shit that in my fully awake state i would never type and hit publish. but then again e actually saying that makes me sound more conscious than i really want to appear therefore make\ing this seem like a highly pre-meditated post of jelly bellies and care bears. I should put a warning at the top just in case someone dies of boredom in the midst of reading this. that. would be. uncool. I should probably go now. *yawn* or I’ll never wake up in time for work tomorrow.

sigh

i think im……. just… gonna *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*